Why Are We So Self Destructive?

Why? Just a curiosity. What makes a person decide who to be with? Is it looks? Is it personality? Is it some other factor that no one can put a finger on?

This isn’t a cry for help but some people could interpret it as. Let me reiterate, THIS IS NOT A CRY FOR HELP, I AM FANTASTIC AND DON’T WANT OR NEED ANY HELP. My big debate on this evening is what makes a person decide to pursue another individual. What are the determining factors? What is the brake even point when someone knows that the person that they like is just wrong? I really am curious and if anyone wants to chime in on this I would be greatly appreciated.

I know that there are the usual responses like girls like assholes, guys want a freak in bed, nice guys finish last, good girls want bad boys, and so on. My question is why do you want this? Is it that you want a project? A job with work to do in the relationship? Do you actually want someone that will piss your parents off? Is it all about sex? Why are you attracted to the person that you are attracted to? Or is it just wanting that dangerous person?

This isn’t a woe is me type of post. I don’t want any of those people that are attracted to the people that they know they shouldn’t be. If I have to describe what I want than you have reading comprehension issues. There a ton of huge issues in this country and if I had to guess in the world. If people choosing the wrong mate is just a huge problem in the US than I am sorry cause I haven’t been to the rest of the world. If you are from a country that this isn’t the case, please leave me a message of where you live and I will move there as soon as I possibly can.

Now to the true issues of the problem. First is the overriding factor of wanting the bad boy or girl. What leads us to desire this person? Is it wanting that person that you are supposed to not want? The girl or guy that is not the ideal mate? The person that is a project or requires work to “fix” to become the ideal mate? Do you desire the dangerous person? Is it as simple as desiring the one person that you know will make your life a challenge?

I have watched through the years as friends have made mistakes after mistakes. Guys dating girls that they know are wrong for them. Girls that know that the guys that they are dating are habitual cheaters. People that want one thing to support a “loved one” when in reality they hate what that person wants. All of this perplexes me. Maybe I just don’t know how to play the “game”. And that brings me to the biggest issue of relationships.

The “game” is complete and utter BULLSHIT!!!!! There is no other way to describe the interaction and relationship be men and women. Even the people that claim to not play the game are playing it in their own way. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty of any game or competition, the entire point of any “game” is to gain the upper hand. It is to be the person that is in control. To dictate the results and outcomes of the interactions. My question is why compete against the person that you care the most for?

Why compete against the person that you love? Why spend every living day of you life fighting tooth and nail for the upper hand against someone that should be a team mate? Why do we compete against those that we love and care for?

I say that we should team up with those people that we love. We should communicate and talk to our teammates in the greater game called life. The goal isn’t to win against your significant others but to kick the ass of the people that are trying to keep you down. Why do we keep competing against our selves? Why does it seem like the entire human race is self destructive?

I want someone that will support me but not blindly. Someone that will understand what I stand for and if they don’t will question it to understand it so that they can support it better.I want someone that can use logic to the point that they don’t seem like a complete drone. I want a girl that will defend herself but know when they are wrong and admit it. I NEED someone that can think for herself, have her own friends, go out with those friends, but wan to come home to me at the end of the night. Is that so much to ask for?

What I see in the world to day are tons of people that are insecure. I am not saying that I have no insecurities but I just don’t let them handicap me. I don’t get jealous and no one else really should. Jealousy is manipulation. When someone feels insecure, it is most likely due to someone else playing upon their inadequacies. If I don’t feel like I look good enough, the girl that I am dating is going to flirt with someone that they perceive to look better than I do. Most of this has to do with control.

Why “control” someone that you supposedly love? Do you want to control them? Do you want to manipulate them? What is the end game? There is no reason to win a “game” or any type of game or conceivable competition unless it is for control. Any “relationship” is to better each individual person. The goal isn’t to get the upper hand or control on the other If that is the way that you view your “other half” than you are going about the whole process wrong. If you have children, than you are perpetuating the situation and making it that much worse. Competitions are simply for the sole benefit of the person that “wins”. The loser loses power, control, and influence. Do any of you want to be in a relationship that you have no chance to make decisions, no chance to make their wishes known, or just simply sit by and let the world pass you by while you sit back and just absorb it?

I am done for the night. All that I ask of anyone that reads this entry is that they start thinking for themselves. Do not let anyone push you around. Don’t let anyone decide what is best for you. If someone warns you about some one that you think is nice, at least listen, but don’t take them at face value. Do not chase after the flashy, window dressings, but look at the background that makes the entire display click and look better. Most of the time the person that you don’t notice immediately is the person that could compliment you and not just make you “look” better. Your goal in life and as a human is to provide the best life and chance for your child. That isn’t going to happen with some neanderthal that is going to look out for “numero uno” but that will look to improve them self, you, and your child. 

Live for your self, better the world for your child, and work with your “other half” to make it happen. If you can’t do that than you are not with the person that you are meant for. Good night and the best of luck finding the person that wants to make the world a better place with you and through any person that you influence.

And if anyone is still reading, fuck the world and live happy. 

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