Valentine’s Day Survival 2011

I have now officially made it through another year of the complete mess that is Valentine’s Day. My survival has caused me to bring up a few observations of the interaction between the two sexes.

First off we will never fully understand each other. No matter who thinks that they might have some insights to how the other thinks, thought processes are constantly evolving. Emotions are feelings that are rarely the result of a thought so therefore seldom reasonable. Now all of this is probably starting to get away from most people but put it this way, we cannot force ourselves to love someone because of a rational thought.

The way that I was raised and the atmosphere that I was raised in was a unique one. I was born in the Midwest in Fargo but raised in a very different world in Port St. Lucie, FL. Every summer until I was almost 15 my family would return to rural Minnesota to visit family and friends. Most are going to be asking how this impacts sexual interaction or understanding the opposite sex. Well put it this way, I was able to see more personality types than most children growing up plus the influence of 2 high school teachers, 2 college teachers and a pastor. My upbringing was focused around treating people the way that you would like to be treated and to try to always keep an open and non-objective view point on people and their thoughts. Now that takes care of my background for my discussion.

Men and women are completely stupid when in comes to most interactions. We grow up watching movies and hearing stories that romanticize love and relationships. How many females grow up wanting to be a Disney princess like Cinderella, Jasmine, Arielle or Belle to name a few? They grow up looking for fairy tale type of love. Not to say that guys aren’t susceptible to the same ideals but most of us are focused on other topics at that age. Were we tend to come up short though is in the underestimation of the fairer sex. Manipulation is a relationship tactic that many learn at a very young age. Think of an infant that wants something, what do they do? They cry until the parent figures out what they want and gives it to them. It is part of coding as animals cause they do it too. Now take that same child and age them a couple of years to a 3 or 4 year old and they are in a store of some sorts. They want a piece of candy or really anything that they might see and they express a desire for it but we as parents say no. That child will whine, pout and cry until they either get it or until you make it obvious that they won’t.

We are raised in a world that is now focused on instant gratification and stimulation. Instead of developing meaningful relationships and progressing them when looking for a significant others in modern day, most of my observations and experiences, people dive in head first or remain completely withdrawn. Most people make up their minds rather they will sleep with you in the first couple of minutes of interaction. Now that does change dramatically under the influence but if the person you are talking to doesn’t feel some type of connection other than intellectually almost immediately than they will remain withdrawn and distant until you can prove otherwise worthy. Right now in the community and age group that I am in and interact with the most (South Florida and 18-30 years of age) I am seeing that more people seem to end up in relationships after having slept together rather than trying to connect mentally.

    I know of people that have had sex together before knowing each others’ full names that have ended up getting married.

Now tell me that that isn’t a sad statement on society that this scenario is acceptable. At the same time I wish them nothing but the absolute best. But maybe this has to do with the increasing percentage of divorces.

What got me started on this whole tangent of a topic is a simple fact of my life. I have never had a date on this most holy of relationship days. It’s not to say that I have never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day but that I have either not been in the same city as her, not been able to do anything for it (finances) or haven’t been on the best of terms (about to break up) on the actual day. Now most think that fact would have me hating the day and bitter towards those that have someone to be with today…and you are partially correct. I dislike the idea of the day in that we should be forced to be overly romantic on February 14th but I am glad and actually happy for each and every friend that has a significant other to share this day with.

Others might jump to the conclusion that maybe my looks or personality may be to blame. My looks I really cannot comment on because can a person ever really know how others view them? I have never been a “heart throb” but have never really had too many problems with meeting women either. As for my personality, I can only assume that it cannot be too dull or uninteresting because of the number of friends that I have. I would have to garner a guess and say that my problems with women lies more in the combination of the 2 factors. I am not one of the more desirable guys when I am with my friends but don’t see my self as one of the “grenades” in my group but that could just be my view of my world. With that said most girls that meet my crew will pick someone else off of the first impression before even giving me a chance. Maybe someday I will meet a girl with an honest opinion that might help me out some.

All that I ask of my fellow people in this world over the next year is the following. Please do not judge someone solely of a first impression. Work on your conversation skills to start connecting with people. And stop jumping into bed with the first person to give you the time of day. Girls, most guys know that you hold the power when it comes to bedding someone you meet at a bar and most know that you are just as horny as we are but please stop selling yourselves short. People say that “The nice guy finishes last.” but I disagree. Most of us never leave the starting line. (not what you expected right?) The “nice guys” is a bit of a misnomer in that most guys when they start falling behind in the race resort to underhanded techniques or just give up. I have reached the point that I am just done looking for my other half even if it is just for the night. I have expended enough energy and effort that I will simply live my life and if some lucky lady would like to join me on the journey than I will let her ride along for as long as she wants.

Happy Valentine’s Day to those in relationships.
Good luck for next year’s for those wish that they were.
Many splendid journeys to those that are amongst my thought process.

Until my next rant sweet dreams but even better days.

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